Day 5

Today was a busy day. I was tired most of the day, but I have worked hard all week. I did do Shimmy today. I like it. It makes me feel feminine and young. Like I said yesterday, Shimmy is a bellydance workout on FitTV. I have DVRed most of the episodes now. Although, I am still working on like episode 12 or 13 out of 25 I think. Anyway, I did this for 16 minutes as I couldn't take anymore. My heel spur just couldn't take it today. That is ok. I am just proud of myself for doing 16 minutes. You should never push yourself if it hurts. Now I don't mean soreness; actual pain is what I mean. One thing I have learned is pushing yourself to hard can end in injury. Another thing I have learned is never be to hard on yourself. If you can't work at the high intensity of the workout or you mess up your diet, the worse thing you can do is beat yourself up. What happens when you do that? I know with me, when I beat myself up it just leads to overeating. Which usually leads to more overeating because I tell myself one of two things. One that I will get back on track tomorrow, which maybe the biggest lie ever. Or I get depressed and end up not working out or watching my diet, until the next time I start thinking "ok it is time to really do this".
I know you can probably see, due to the time stamp, it is late. I know I should be in bed, especially since I have been tired all day. In my defense, I fell asleep on the couch at like 10pm and woke at 1 or 1:30am. So, I will go to bed soon. Sleep is very important when trying to lose weight. Our muscles need it to repair themselves. I know from all my biology classes from school that when we sleep our cells repair themselves. And I am guessing with my craving today for protein, the building block of muscles, that mine are craving to repair themselves, which is even more of a reason to get more sleep. I just have never been good at sleep, except maybe napping when I was a kid. As I was growing up, it was one of the few times my father would leave me alone. But at night for some reason, maybe it was his drinking he would wake me up either with yelling, playing music loudly with some other musicians, or just to finish my chores or practice my piano or something. I know sounds lovely. But that is just how it was. But it led to my insomnia issues and my neurologist thinks it led to my sleep apnea which is made worse by my weight. One of the best things about losing weight has been getting off all my meds, except the blood thinner of course, but I am still on the sleep apnea machine. I do think at some point I will feel like I can live without it, though. On that note I will sign off and go to bed. Please leave a note or comment with encouragement or just to let me know you came by. I really would like to hear from you guys and girls reading this.